May I Hear That Used In a Sentence, Please?

I was recently informed that Dwayne Wade’s first name is in fact spelled Dwyane.

I know. I didn’t believe it either, but I’ve since checked several sources – and the old issue of GQ (Gentlemen’s Quarterly – also didn’t know that) on my coffee table – and this does indeed appear to be the case.

This raises a couple interesting questions:

First, why didn’t I know this? I know everything. I especially know everything about names. I know, for example, that Meat Loaf was born Marvin, Sting, Gordon, and that that the Wiz’s number 4 spells his first name Antawn because of a typo (I did not know, however, that his middle name is Cortez – which it is). The only explanation I can come up with is that prior to the Heat winning the title last year – and even, to be honest, after – I hardly realized Miami had a professional basketball team (though that Real World season was great).

Second, is Dwyane a common spelling or did The Wades call an audible? The answer is distinctly the latter. Not a single American male with the first name Dwyane was recorded in the 1990 census (“Dwayne” was the 256^th most common name). Likewise, according to the Social Security Administration, “Dwyane” was not among the 1000 most popular baby names of 1982, Wade’s year of birth (“Dwayne,” however, was 241^st, just behind “Karl” and four slots ahead of “Chase”).

Third, where would we be had the parents of other NBA players shown the same sort of endeavor with the spelling of their children’s first names? Well, we’d be watching the likes of Lbreon James, Rshaard Lewis, Craon Butler, Kird Nowtizki, Yelk Korver, Sucram Camby, Neord and Varmin Williams, and, of course, the rock-up-front-that-is-Netlo Brand.

I have to think that somewhere up there Chick Hearn is breathing a sigh of relief.

Cheers!

TGB